I have definitely been writing less and less the past few months. And I'd like to say that I've been so busy and haven't had time to blog, or that I am putting my time into new projects or spending more time with family. But, unfortunately that's not it. There have been so many thoughts stirring in my head that I could write down and share, but I haven't felt like sharing. Part of me is reserved, thinking those thoughts are too deep to share with the world or that I want to keep those memories of certain things we've done selfishly to myself. Part of me is lazy, thinking I would rather sit on the couch and watch L*aw and Order. And yet another part of me is stumped, simply thinking I don't know how to describe the thoughts and events that have been occurring these last few months.
And yet another part of me feels guilty for not writing. Not because I haven't been keeping my few readers updated on my life, but because I had set out to keep a record of the joyous things that happen on a daily routine. I want my children to look back at some of the the entries I have written and laughed at the things they said or bloopers that I did, or places we visited. I also want an outlet or a time set aside so that I can reflect on the tiny blessings that occur on a daily basis. God has given me so many things to be thankful for, and yet there are so many days that I get down in the dumps wondering why He gave me life. What is my purpose here on Earth (okay, don't answer that...because I know every Christian's purpose is to serve God and be a light unto others so that we may lead others to Christ....but I was thinking beyond that)? Anyway, I am getting way off course here. My point is, God has set so many great things in my life (even if it is a small thing in my daily routine, like the fact that I didn't forget all the items on my grocery list...which sadly, seems to happen a lot), and I need to focus on those things. After all hasn't it been said that how your day goes depends on 90% of your attitude? I hope I haven't created a grim picture either. I haven't been depressed or had a poor attitude for all of 3 months, but I have gotten away from focusing on the reason I began this blog in the first place. And that was to embrace the person God made me to be, to focus on the small blessings in my daily life, and to make small positive changes in my life that makes me a better person. After all, that's why I am a rose in the making.