I have definitely been writing less and less the past few months. And I'd like to say that I've been so busy and haven't had time to blog, or that I am putting my time into new projects or spending more time with family. But, unfortunately that's not it. There have been so many thoughts stirring in my head that I could write down and share, but I haven't felt like sharing. Part of me is reserved, thinking those thoughts are too deep to share with the world or that I want to keep those memories of certain things we've done selfishly to myself. Part of me is lazy, thinking I would rather sit on the couch and watch L*aw and Order. And yet another part of me is stumped, simply thinking I don't know how to describe the thoughts and events that have been occurring these last few months.
And yet another part of me feels guilty for not writing. Not because I haven't been keeping my few readers updated on my life, but because I had set out to keep a record of the joyous things that happen on a daily routine. I want my children to look back at some of the the entries I have written and laughed at the things they said or bloopers that I did, or places we visited. I also want an outlet or a time set aside so that I can reflect on the tiny blessings that occur on a daily basis. God has given me so many things to be thankful for, and yet there are so many days that I get down in the dumps wondering why He gave me life. What is my purpose here on Earth (okay, don't answer that...because I know every Christian's purpose is to serve God and be a light unto others so that we may lead others to Christ....but I was thinking beyond that)? Anyway, I am getting way off course here. My point is, God has set so many great things in my life (even if it is a small thing in my daily routine, like the fact that I didn't forget all the items on my grocery list...which sadly, seems to happen a lot), and I need to focus on those things. After all hasn't it been said that how your day goes depends on 90% of your attitude? I hope I haven't created a grim picture either. I haven't been depressed or had a poor attitude for all of 3 months, but I have gotten away from focusing on the reason I began this blog in the first place. And that was to embrace the person God made me to be, to focus on the small blessings in my daily life, and to make small positive changes in my life that makes me a better person. After all, that's why I am a rose in the making.
9 comments:
Three months of just "being" and contentment says it all! I'd say this little rose is soaking up nutrients, sunshine, rain, blooming where she is. The beautiful smiles on two little girls say more than any blog. You'll write when you feel led and that's okay.
I'm glad you are taking time out to rest too. It's great that you're taking time to think. Hats off to you that you do a blog! I don't even have one, and, at some point, i need to, however, life is just too busy right now. Good for you! Keep smiling! looking forward to seeing you soon!
Blog only when you want to. Sometimes, you don't have to share everything. Sometimes, it's good to keep some things to your self just to ponder or cherish. And we'll all wait patiently to hear about the things that you do feel like sharing.
Your thoughts ring so true. (I'm pretty sure we're true sisters in that we think and feel so many of the same things...I love that.) We'll keep checking in and thinking of you...can't wait to see you all in a couple of weeks!
You are a real person! That's the reality of life. It's not a contest, it's a journey- some things are best a memory in your head - the way they are. Some things are great to document (like the great two cute photos you put up on the rt of the girls). Life is real-- it's got good times and bad times. Don't share if you don't feel like it. We are walking with you regardless of if or how often you blog!
Sarah,
Your heart and honesty came through so clearly in this post. I hope that as you take this time to "embrace the person God made you to be", that you feel God's accpetance and approval - that He, the One who made you, embraces you just as you are - whether you blog or not.
I look forward to reading your stories and sharing in your life - whenever you have something you want to share! You have a tremendous heart - and I feel priveleged to know you in this way!
You have such a sweet heart and I appreciate so much what you wrote about in this post. I can also so totally relate. Your kids are blessed to have you as their mommy!
I love reading your blog whenever you post, but your blog should be for *you* and *your family* first... I just enjoy the privilege of being able to share in your stories and memories when you feel led to blog.
On another note, I can't believe how big your girls are... in my mind they are still as they were a year ago when I visited, but they have changed and grown so much! I love the latest photo of Katie with her little pigtails.
There is nothing to feel guilty about, S. Whether or not you're soaking up your kids in real life or recording real life here on the blog, you *are* living and it's always so evident that you are living for Him. I hope He meets your needs each day and that at some point you do continue to blog when the time is right!
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